Take your own damn inventory

Having a problem with someone. This cat is always trying to convince people (himself) that I’m all about money. Any time money comes up in conversation he goes off. I thought about this though. I suppose I am all about money. But not in the manner he feels.

Without money I can’t take care of myself. If I can’t take care of myself I can’t take care of my daughter, or on the other branch I won’t be in a position to help another alcoholic when he comes to me. I don’t like having to tell somebody in the same boat as me, “Sorry, I can’t help”.

My name is Jason and I’m a grateful alcoholic

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference

I wanted to start with this. For one simple reason. It’s at the heart of sobriety, it’s not the only thing but it is there among other issues. The Serenity Prayer, when you start your day with it, levels you. It will keep you focused on dealing with life on life’s terms.

Acceptance is one of my biggest defects. I too often try to change things I have no control over. Far too often. This is the equivalent of banging your head against a wall expecting to not end up with a headache. When things or people don’t change to suit my desires. I get “frustrated, irritable and discontent”. When the bank won’t open up because I’m there at 4:50 when every other bank in the nation closes at 5:00 and yet this one closes at 4:30, it kinda pisses me off. I spend the next half hour fuming over it and building a resentment against them when I should really be saying “OK, now I know it closes at 4:30. I need to get here earlier next payday” and find another place to cash my check for today. Well, in a perfect world that would work.

But I’m an alcoholic. The world revolves around me! I think I need to work harder on my 3rd step.